THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
The ant works hard in the withering heat allsummer long, building hishouse and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he'sa fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter,the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food orshelter, so he dies out in the cold.
THE NEW ZEALAND MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building hishouse and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he'sa fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter,the ant is warm and well fed.
The shivering grasshopper calls a pressconference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warmand well fed while others less fortunate like him are cold and starving.
TVNZ shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper,with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with atable filled with food. Kiwis are stunned that in a country of suchwealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others haveplenty. The Green Party, Maori Party , the trade unions, the CoalitionAgainst Poverty and the usual bunch of professional rioters demonstratein front of the ant's house.
TVNZ, interrupting an Iwi cultural festival special from a NorthlandMarae with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome. "Sue Bradford rants in an interview with Paul Holmes that the ant hasgotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediatetax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."
In response topolls, the Labour Government drafts the Economic Equity and GrasshopperAnti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. Theant's taxes are reassessed and he is also fined for failing to hiregrasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay both the fine andhis newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by thegovernment.The ant moves to Australia and starts a successful agribiz company.
TVNZ later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant'sfood though Spring is still months away, while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he hadn't maintained it. Inadequate government funding is blamed, Winston Peters is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000. The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose.
The Auckland Herald blames it on obvious failure of government toaddress the root causes of despair arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of migrant spiders, praised bythe government for enriching New Zealands multicultural diversity, who promptly start terrorizing the community.
And that folks is unfortunately how it is.