Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Worst quiz answers ever!

These are actual answers given in TV quiz shows............................

1) Something a blind man might use? A Sword
2) A song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon
3) Name the capital of France? F
4) Name a bird with a long Neck? Naomi Campbell
5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A burglar
6) Where is the Taj Mahal? Opposite the Dental Hospital
7) What is Hitler's first name? Heil
8) A famous Scotsman? Jock
9) Some famous brothers? Bonnie and Clyde.
10) A dangerous race? The Arabs
11) Something that floats in a bath? Water
12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? A horse
13) Something you wear on a beach? A deckchair
14) A famous Royal? Mail
15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? A bicycle withwings
16) A famous bridge? The Bridge Over Troubled Waters
17) Something a cat does? Goes to the toilet
18) Something you do in the bathroom? Decorate
19) A method of securing your home? Put the kettle on
20) Something associated with pigs? The Police
21) A sign of the Zodiac? April
22) Something people might be allergic to? Skiing
23) Something you do before you go to bed? Sleep
24) Something you put on walls? A roof
25) Something slippery? A conman
26) A kind of ache? A fillet of fish
27) A jacket potato topping? Jam
28) A food that can be brown or white? A potato
29) Something sold by gypsies? Bananas
30) Something red? My sweater

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Now men cant sit next to children!!!

What next. Now men cant sit next to children in airplanes in New Zealand. Whats wrong with the stupid people who put these dumb laws into place. I believe the people who make these laws shouldnt be allowed to sit next to children. They will pollute the kids heads with their folly.

Where is this going to stop? Soon we wont be allowed to sit next to kids on a train, bus or anywhere in public. I remember a time where kids once gave their seat to an adult. Now we have to give our seats to them.

New Zealand has become a PC joke. We now have to be so careful that we dont offend the maori, women, muslems, jews, handicapped, blacks, imigrants, animals, seals, gays, whales, TV presenters, Winston Peters, the poor, children, the aged, employees, and anyone else who want to get in on the bandwagon.

By the way, I have nothing against any of these people or animals, its just that its getting to a point where you cant say "I dont agree with the whales and the seals and am sick of all their moaning" and everyone immediately jumps up and down and says you are picking on them and you are the one who has the problem.

It seems okay however, to offend the men of the nation who seem to be taking the wrap for the odd paedophile who happens to catch a plane.

We are not all paedophiles and most of us love kids and enjoy having a chat with them. They remind us when we were young, they give us chances to revisit our childhood, they help us keep young when we are getting old.

Whats wrong with this nation?

For those who are from engineering backgrounds

Welsh scientists drill world's smallest hole http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/11/29/smallest_hole/

You have to see this

Water Bottle Jet Pack
and........ lift off!

Ronald MacDonald Arrested For Wendy's Burglary

He works at a Wendy's, and his name is Ronald MacDonald -- but now he may be known as the Hamburglar.

Two workers at a Wendy's in Manchester have been charged with taking money from the safe. One of the suspects is Ronald MacDonald.Police said the restaurant's manager called them early Monday morning after he saw MacDonald and the other man taking cash out of the restaurant's safe.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Taupo Bike Race.

I did it. I cracked the 120km mark. I did the first 80km in 3hrs which bettered my last years time by 30 minutes. Our total time was 6hrs 20min which is 40 minutes faster that last year. Its not in the league of some of the riders (160km in 4hrs.02min) but for old farts we are doing okay. I could have done the whole 160km, but my knees were really getting sore, which I blame on my new riding shoes not being adjusted properly. Next year its 160..............

You have to watch this

747 Jet Crosswinds Top Gear Test
The guys from Top Gear do another test. This time they try and find out if the force from a 747's engine can blow away a moving Ford Mondeo.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Taupo Bike Race

The bike race is this weekend. All the training, the sore bum and everything else that you have to go through is now to be put to the test. How will I go? Will I survive? What time will I do? All these questions will be answered on Monday............... Watch this space.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Star Wars Origami

From the Millenium Falcon to a fleet of AT-ST Walkers, it's Star Wars Origami and all made entirely out of paper (instructions included).

Sunday, November 20, 2005

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

The ant works hard in the withering heat allsummer long, building hishouse and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he'sa fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter,the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food orshelter, so he dies out in the cold.

vs.

THE NEW ZEALAND MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building hishouse and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he'sa fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter,the ant is warm and well fed.

The shivering grasshopper calls a pressconference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warmand well fed while others less fortunate like him are cold and starving.

TVNZ shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper,with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with atable filled with food. Kiwis are stunned that in a country of suchwealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others haveplenty. The Green Party, Maori Party , the trade unions, the CoalitionAgainst Poverty and the usual bunch of professional rioters demonstratein front of the ant's house.

TVNZ, interrupting an Iwi cultural festival special from a NorthlandMarae with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome. "Sue Bradford rants in an interview with Paul Holmes that the ant hasgotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediatetax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."

In response topolls, the Labour Government drafts the Economic Equity and GrasshopperAnti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. Theant's taxes are reassessed and he is also fined for failing to hiregrasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay both the fine andhis newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by thegovernment.The ant moves to Australia and starts a successful agribiz company.

TVNZ later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant'sfood though Spring is still months away, while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he hadn't maintained it. Inadequate government funding is blamed, Winston Peters is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000. The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose.

The Auckland Herald blames it on obvious failure of government toaddress the root causes of despair arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of migrant spiders, praised bythe government for enriching New Zealands multicultural diversity, who promptly start terrorizing the community.

And that folks is unfortunately how it is.

Free Steak

It is possible to eat for free. Really for free. But you have to eat a lot of the Big Texan in Amarillo, before it's actually free. Here are some of the rules:

Rule # 1 is to have fun. We really want you to win! The $50 dinner consist of a baked potato, salad, shrimp cocktail, roll, and a 72-ounce top sirloin steak.

You must sit at the designated table in our dining room. You may not leave the table for any reason once the contest starts. No one may assist you in any way (such as cutting up your meal).

You must complete the dinner in 1 hour (if you can't do the meal in an hour, you ain't going get it done in 2 hours anyway).

You may not share your meal even if you don't complete the dinner (like take it back to your table to be shared by any folks you may have invited to cheer you on).

If you get sick (its been know to happen) the contest is over, period.

But think before you begin. Since 1960 about 6,200 people have succeeded in eating the 72oz. steak and about 37,000 people have attempted to consume the free steak .

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Five questions non-Muslims would like answered

The rioting in France by primarily Muslim youths and the hotel bombings in Jordan are the latest events to prompt sincere questions that law-abiding Muslims need to answer for Islam's sake, as well as for the sake of worried non-Muslims. Here are five of them

Want to torture some critters?

make yourself a fly airplane.

Who were you in your last life?

Use the "past life caluclator" to see what you were in your last life and what lesson from that one you can use in this one.

I was a cook on a ship or possibly a carpenter. Yeah Right! What a load of rubbish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

YES! its final been discovered - Beer is good for you

Scientists at Oregon State University recently reported that the hops used to brew beer contain a compound that neutralizes free radicals -- the harmful molecules in the blood that can contribute to cancer and other diseases.

The compound is exclusive only to hops and is not found anywhere else, the researchers said, adding that the compound is more effective at neutralizing free radicals than similar compounds found in red wine and green tea.

According to the researchers, craft beers such as stouts, porters and other "hoppy" beers have much higher levels of the exclusive free radical-fighting compound than domestic lager and pilsner beers.

The worst record covers ever

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/features/weekly/worst-album-covers/index.shtml

Speed Camera's

Here's something everybody should at least try to succeed in and get away with once in a lifetime....

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

What a boring world we are creating..........

A stunned Italian actor had to stub out the cigarette he had lit up on stage after a spectator complained, forcing the theatre to change the script of an Arthur Miller play to make it smoke-free.

"This had never happened to me in more than 300 performances," the actor, Sebastiano Lo Monaco, was quoted as saying by the website of Italian daily Corriere della Sera. Italy has banned lighting up in all enclosed public places since January this year.

Lo Monaco was smoking, in line with the script, while playing the main character in Miller's A View from the Bridge at a theatre in the north-eastern city of Mestre, when a woman from the audience shouted "put out that cigarette".

Good Grief, you can now buy your dog a beer !!!!!!!!

Yes, it's beer!

But, it's for dogs. Non-alcoholic and non-carbonated, our Happy Tail Ale is the ultimate liquid refreshment for your best friend.

Our brew is made with choice malted barley and filtered water, featuring all-natural beef flavorings. Plus, it's fortified with Glucosamine and Vitamin E!

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Heres a good story

Frederick II, an 18th-century king of Prussia. Frederick fancied himself an enlightened monarch, and in some respects he was.

On one occasion, he is supposed to have interested himself in the conditions of a Berlin prison. He was escorted through it so that he might speak to the prisoners. One after the other, the prisoners fell to their knees before him, bewailing their lot and, predictably, protesting their utter innocence of all charges that had been brought against them.

Only one prisoner remained silent, and finally Frederick's curiosity was aroused. "You," he called. "You, there!" The prisoner looked up. "Yes, your majesty?" "Why are you here?" "Armed robbery, your majesty." "And are you guilty?" "Entirely guilty, your majesty. I richly deserve my punishment."

At this Frederick rapped his cane sharply on the ground and said, "Warden, release this guilty wretch at once. I will not have him here in jail where by example he will corrupt all the splendid innocent people who occupy it."

Where is the justice in life?

I was in a bike race on Sunday. It was in Masterton and you could either participate in the 50km or 100km race. I cowardly opted for the 50km. When I was 5km from the finish line I was congratulating myself for my cowardly nature. I was knackered. For some strange reason you were always riding into the wind. This did not please me!!!!!!!!!!!

What really upset me, was 3km from the finish, a rather large lady passed me. I tried to catch her, but I couldnt no matter how hard I tried.

Now I dont rate myself as sexist, nor do I have a problem with largish people, but the fact was, here we had a bike straining under the weight of a big bottomed lady, passing me. I have been training for months, I have lost 10kg, gained muscles that I didnt know existed, biked hundreds of km's in all weather and I get passed by someone who looks as if they have dined on MacDonalds burgers, chips and chocolate pudding for most of their lives.

Where is the justice in life??????

I passed the finish line depressed.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Taupo Bike Race

I am doing the round Taupo bike race again this year. I have always done 80km, (for the last 4 years), but this year I am attempting 120km. I am doing 20km rides every day now, so I can hack the pace. Today I am doing 40km. Its wonderful on a nice Wellington day like today.

Monday, November 07, 2005

The Top Ten Best Selling Singles Of All Time

1 37 million Candle In The Wind -- (Princess Diana Tribute) Elton John
2 30 Million White Christmas Bing Crosby
3 17 Million Rock Around The Clock Bill Haley and His Comets
4 12 Million I Want To Hold Your Hand The Beatles
5 10 Million Hey Jude The Beatles
6 10 Million It's Now Or Never Elvis Presley
7 10 Million I Will Always Love You Whitney Houston
8 9 Million Hound Dog Elvis Presley
9 9 Million Diana Paul Anka
10 8 Million (Every Thing I Do) I Do It For You Bryan Adams

Radios most played songs.

radio's most played songs - classicbands.com

http://www.classicbands.com/mostplayed.html

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Weird

Scary and bizarre sounds from saturn
http://saturn.jpl.nasa.gov/multimedia/sounds/

Stop complaining about your job............

It's safe to assume that none of us wants to be an orangutan-pee collector.

But the task exists, as we're informed by November Popular Science's, "Worst Jobs in Science."

The third annual tale of generally painful, tedious and downright smelly duties opens with a look at Cheryl Knott, a Harvard University pioneer in "noninvasive monitoring of steroids through urine samples."

She's labored mostly in Indonesia, with the aim of understanding ape reproduction through analysis of estrogen and progesterone levels, prompting her focus on urine collection.Knott has got competition for the magazine's list.

Shave Your Yeti

Don't ask me why. I really have no idea. But maybe you like to hold that razor and shave your yeti.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

This is a great site

stay up on the news...
with the front pages from over 400 newspapers around the world.

A Whale of a Story

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though they were a very large mammal, their throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

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